MEDITATION AND HEALING OUR OWN INFANCY STUFF
BY LEONARD D. ORR
My theme for this month is meditation.
I have been fasting 3 days per week during January 2017. During one of my fasts, I was induced almost involuntarily into a 24 hour state of meditation. By meditation I mean being in the transcendental state most of the time and being able to see myself objectively.
In the East, it is common for “saints” to meditate for 3 years or 8 years. This is not common in the West. Our version would be to go back to the University for an advanced degree. We in the West usually don’t think of any advanced kind of spiritual education. Perhaps we don’t even know what advanced spiritual education is?
In my own case, since I was spiritually enlightened in 1960 and healed my death urge in 1967, spontaneous meditation has been a normal part of my life daily. Since rebirthing in the 1970’s, meditation in the bath has been a twice per day normal occurrence. It has become one of my top priorities, along with fire purification which I added in 1981.
Practical meditation is noticing what is actually going in our own mind and body. We have to objectively observe our subjective mind.
Being in the meditative state for 24 hours is a new experience for me. It enabled me to see myself in a totally unique way. It enabled me to question how I use my time and what I am doing with my time in a unique way. I first of all noticed that I could give myself more time for pure meditation. Pure meditation has no purpose. It is its own purpose. It has no productive outcome and needs none. However, it tends to make us more productive, at least qualitatively.
However, these periods of pure meditation do have value. When we look at ourselves objectively, if that is possible, we develop new priorities. We tend to look at all of our purposes and see more clearly what we are actually accomplishing and not accomplishing. Since I have written many books on physical immortality which means personal mastery, I naturally tend to look at the stages of my own state of physical, mental, and spiritual health. It is no secret to me that I have a way to go to master my body. During this 24 hour meditation I took a unique look at my mind and how I am managing my own mind?
Basically, I notice that the battle between my unconscious mind and my conscious mind is on- going and when my unconscious is in charge and takes over my mind and body, it takes a combination of concentration and surrender. The surrender is not always pleasant, because the stuff produced by our unconscious memory is not always pleasant. The process of healing it is not always easy.
It is 1-8-17. I am dealing with a lot of pain, mainly in my back. As a result of my 6 day fast and my 3 day fast which I complete today, my infancy memories are taking over my body. I have been working with these infancy memories for a year, since I got home and have stayed home most of the time for the past year to do more spiritual practices and self-healing. It is working.
It is amazing how early memories can stay stuck somewhere in our soul – our mind and body for over 70 years and then suddenly take over the conscious experience of our daily lives. This is happening to me. It has been happening now and then for the last year. One day in the last month is was so regressed that I couldn’t remember my mantras which I have been doing in my bath every day for over 2 years. When I got out of the tub, Elvi noticed I had memory problems and asked me what year it is. My best guess was 2013, second guess was 2015. Even by concentrating, I had to ask Elvi what year is it. She said 2017 and I was amazed. This problem only lasted one day, but needless to say, that day was not a productive day for me and I had a lot of pain in my body – all over my body.
I talked in previous newsletters how feeling mud from past life deaths took over during the summer months. Now that I seem to be past that, maybe because it reduced my fear of death, I seem to be getting another layer of infancy memories. I am talking about body memories. When I mention fear of death, I don’t actually have a fear of death which is just leaving the body. What I am actually talking about is the fears of past lifetimes deaths that I haven’t confronted yet. We may like to remember our good lives, but we don’t like to remember when we were the bad guys.
What I seem to be experiencing is the effort and pain we went through when we learned to walk. Think about this. If you exercise strenuously, you may have sore muscles the next day. Walking, even crawling, is strenuous exercise for a baby. We never think about this. When I watched my 2 children go through this, I could see them efforting with all their might, but didn’t think they actually may be having pain or even sore muscles. My own children are also exceptions because they did rebirthing before, during, and after birth, so learning to walk was quite rapid for them. Evidently most of us experienced all kinds of physical and emotional frustration when we went through this – even pain. We are pushing through atrophy. This is the period when we feel we can’t turn over or take care of our basic body needs for about two years. I am realizing and remembering that I had intense anger and resentment during this period of infancy as well as intense sadness and frustration.
This anger and resentment gets all mixed up in moving and not moving. We experienced intense frustration around the simple actions of moving and not moving. Since we did learn to walk later through force and imitation, we never resolved these intense feelings. We tend to project these feelings on to all kinds of people and experiences throughout our lives. I am feeling them almost everyday and have more or less for a year.
I have improved is letting go of lots of resentment around having to move, but I still have a long way to go with this. I discover all kinds of resentment about moving – the simple act of moving – even going from a sitting position to a standing position. This resentment feels like infancy consciousness and looks like senility and old age.
This atrophy affects us and our relationship to our body our whole lives. It may be the basic subjective reason we desire death to get rid of this inconvenience. It is the experience of our body being heavy or getting in our way. I am into it big time and full time. I can hardly walk today. The pain is intense. What I notice is intense resentment and anger. Pain is the experience of suppressing a negative thought or feeling. My pain is bringing me in contact with those early feelings of anger and hopelessness and helplessness that I had during infancy. They seem to be very deep and all pervasive. I have been dealing with them for a year. I can only think of ten or twenty days during the last year that I have not had some kind of pain related to these body memories from infancy. I feel them the most when I try to get out of bed in the middle of the night or at morning. I am at least quite angry about my pain and the heaviness of my body. I know I have to somehow get to those memories in a way that allows me to release those early feelings. It is not so easy. I am resenting these memories.
I notice that the more anger I can feel the less pain I have.
When we did walk, we did it through force and imitation rather than an intuitive expression of our natural ability.
What I am noticing is that the pain is located and affects the same parts of my body when I did learn to walk. I have been experiencing the most pain in the morning when I try to go from a reclining position to a standing position. This has been going on for a year, sometimes more sometimes less. It also is difficult to go from a sitting position to a standing position without pain. I have noticed my whole life that I could not sit with my spine straight. I have been examining my whole relationship to how I move my body and what muscles I use. I could say a lot more about this. In other words, I have the most pain in the places I did use when I was learning to crawl and walk and sit.
In the last month, I have noticed that it has been easier to sit with my spine straight than ever in my life. It must be because I am making progress with healing these infancy memories. I have also always had difficulty just standing without walking or moving. I can say intense difficulty. It stimulates all my impatience triggers. I can see improvements in this recently.
What is most surprising for me is that I did significant work on these memories when I went through my senility process from 1988 to 93. It was a full time job. Now it seems I am surprised by a bigger layer of this particular memory of learning to walk or being stuck in infancy. During my senility process, I was unable to move, but I didn’t have much pain about it. Now I seem to be getting in touch with my body memories of pain during infancy. What I am noticing is how we use our body muscles to over compensate for body weight. This overcompensation during infancy created habits that we continued to use our whole lives. These habits are actually bad habits in relation to our daily movements of our body weight. We have to learn to listen more to our body weight and how to use our muscles more harmoniously to move without strain.
When in Russia, I was invited to a dance class by a brilliant choreographer who had taken all of his students through at least ten rebirthing sessions, rebirthing was a part of his teaching process with all of his students. The exercise I remember the most was brilliant. We had to go down on the floor into a reclining position. Then we had to rise to a standing position ten or twenty times in a different way each time. Up in a different way using different muscles and down in a different way. It is a brilliant exercise – try it!
A few years after I healed my death urge from my family tradition in 1967, I started having birth, prenatal, and infancy memories – lots of them. I had one of interest here. I remembered being a few days after birth. I realized I could walk, but I also remembered the race belief, or parents’ beliefs that prevented me from walking. In the memory, it felt like I was being possessed by these beliefs and couldn’t prevent them from blocking my intuitive ability to walk. This memory changed my intuitive relationship to my body ever since, but didn’t correct the intense and dense memory of atrophy, which I seem to be still dealing with today. The atrophy state goes on for about two years in most infants. I still have my anger about this possession and its effects on my body during my two years of infancy before learning how to walk. Actually, I realize that when I did learn to walk, I didn’t learn how. I may just be learning how to walk now, decades later, but my body has suffered quietly until now from my bad habits of moving around my unconsciousness about intelligent and efficient movement. I may just be learning how to move in harmony with my muscles instead of ignoring them and accumulating strain and pain.
Please notice that birth trauma is a few minutes or hours, infancy trauma is two or more years for most people.
My pain is forcing me to move in harmony with my muscles. I can no longer force them to do what they were not designed to do.
A few years after I had this memory about my intuitive ability to walk which was suppressed my whole life, I was visiting friends in Berkley, CA, who told me about a documentary movie they just saw about an African tribe that had their infants walking within 8 hours after birth. This was still in the 1960’s. This gives us a lot to think about. Probably most infants would hurt themselves or kill themselves if they could walk too early. They also hurt themselves after 2 years. How many parents do you know who are actually prepared to be parents?
Does Babaji, our Intelligent Energy, give us some of our negativity for our own protection? This is a good theological problem for you!
What if Babaji, our Intelligent Energy, creates our body new every day? What if our Infinite, Eternal, Intelligent Energy – Shiva-Shakti – creates us out of nothing in harmony with our Karma and Her mercy every day? Our body is recreated out of our mind by Intelligent Energy every day. If we change our mind, our body changes automatically. This gives us an amazing opportunity.
If this is true, then we can change every day for better or worse depending on how we work with our karma and our minds. Does your idea of Karma include your infancy memories? How are they related to much older memories and our very old centuries old Karma? One thing is clear, our karmic memories keep us out of present time. I seem to be using a lot of my present time consciousness to heal these past memories that keep popping up. After my 5 year senility process from 88 to 93, I had some post graduate courses in 2002, so I had a ten year break. Now 15 years later, I seem to be in a bigger healing process of infancy and senility. It is actually very interesting, even if painful.
I am noticing how my fasts are bringing up this pain from infancy. I notice how the fast also dissolves some of the pain. The changes in my Energy Body and physical body can be dramatic and psychedelic just from fasting and staying conscious of what is really happening in my mind and body. Fasting makes it easier to see myself more objectively.
It is amazing how we can hold these memories in our unconscious and protect ourselves from feeling them for decades. Regression is the cure for suppression. Our busyness prevents regression.
Doing 20 connected breaths always moves the pain, at least a little. Breathing is the Queen of Yoga. Pranayoga is the continuous life giver. It is amazing how many pains and symptoms I have healed with a little connected breathing through the decades. Meditation in the bath also works. Fasting also works. And sitting with fire also works. Working with the mantra and affirmations also works. Sometimes, lecturing and teaching moves lots of energy inside of myself. Our service always moves karma. The six methods of spiritual purification are: mind, earth, air, water, fire, and love – relationships – service.
It is not difficult to see how much of our society and civilization is stuck in infancy consciousness. It always amazes me to see what unconscious people have accomplished before they die. Our roads, our cities, our houses, our cars, etc. are amazing accomplishments. It is amazing how people can build a beautiful home for themselves and die when it is completed. Without physical immortality, we are not even able to enjoy our own physical stuff. Physical immortality – eternal life, is a beautiful and powerful context for thinking and living and healing.
Our minds and bodies seem to be the most neglected things. People are willing to sacrifice their bodies for money, cars, businesses, houses, relationships, fame, and all kinds of things, which are useless without a body to enjoy them.
It is no accident that the most successful rebirther in the world learned to walk ten days after he was born. He earned over $800,000 per year for 25 years.
I wonder what will happen to me when I heal the rest of my infancy conscousness? I am actually thankful for the pain that is stimulating my healing process.
I am also thankful for these spontaneous periods of meditation. I intend to make more conscious use of meditation during different times of the day, instead of just during my bath time. Setting aside 20 minutes is not the goal, allowing ourselves a full day, several hours, or all night is a new idea. I have noticed in the past, that people who do this tend to be far more productive when they go back into full participation in the world. A day or a night, or a few hours is not a big deal. Creating the space consciously can be a really big deal for our spiritual development. We tend to be too busy. More meditation increases the productivity of our activity.
My theme is meditation and what it really means for you and me. Meditation is the greatest thing. We are talking about thinking objectively about ourselves our friends and our lives as well as the transcendental state which is the Source of the mind.
During the last month – January – I relived my infancy burping memory. I noticed I was burping almost continuously 24 hours per day for 5 to 10 days. I wondered where all this burping was coming from because I was not eating much? I also noticed that I felt full all the time and had no appetite. During part of this time I was doing my 3 day fast, so I didn’t meditate on it too deeply, but I was still burping during the fast. Then I noticed that the appetite problem and burping were related so I asked a friend how long her daughters burping as a baby went on? She said 5 months. I realized that I had relived this infancy burping period of 5 months in 5 to 10 days. Since then my appetite has returned to normal. If you ever noticed, when I baby burps, they regurgitate also. I didn’t actually regurgitate because I was fasting most of the time, but I did feel like I might at times.
During the whole month of January I was mostly using liquids. This could have assisted in bringing up this memory of nursing and burping.
Interesting – babies eat too much or drink too much of mothers milk. Is it because of the mother’s anxiety or the babies love for the closeness and the breast sensations? How do baby bottles fit into this picture?
During the first few years of rebirthing, we used to use baby bottles extensively as a memory input. It was very effective. If you have never tried it, you may.
Now I am in February. I just was overtaken by a childhood memory of being very unhappy for 2 days. The memory was so total that I couldn’t do anything but escape into sleep. I felt so bad I couldn’t concentrate on anything or be productive in any way. I was just enduring the extreme pain of unhappiness of those memories. I couldn’t think of anything that would feel good or make me happy, except the loving touch of my wife. She obliged me for a few minutes each day. It was a relief, but the feeling was too overwhelming to go away. Luckily, I have a fireplace to sleep in front of.
After 2 days of these extremely bad feelings, I felt unusually good day. The spiritual purification practices work and I only felt like reading the Shiva Purana while I was in this nasty state. The stories of Shiva’s many incarnations were very powerful for me and assisted greatly in bringing me out of this miserable state. One of the stories gave me a breakthrough. I am glad I have a habit of reading all of the great Scriptures. The Bible is also very powerful.
I would love to take time to actually present what Jesus teaches about physical immortality, it is so powerful. For example, he says that the religious leaders are not willing to go into the Kingdom of God and are not willing for others to go in either. They killed him to prevent the spread of physical immortality, but the resurrection proves that eternal life includes the physical body. it seems to be the same today.
I have felt so productive in the last few days, that I have completed things that I couldn’t touch for several weeks. I feel great.
Meditation on our internal experience and how it relates to our external experiences is very practical and profitable. I am healing stuff that was stuck inside of me for over 70 years. Imagine how evolved people could be if they really did and understood rebirthing and self-healing when they are teenagers. They might be great leaders, even world saviors in there thirties like Jesus was.
We still don’t know what the water-babies will produce?
What is most obvious is that teenagers and adults require more spiritual education and more emotional education. Inspiration University has over ten million students in some stage of their healing process and spiritual growth. Are you willing to support us more and participate more?
It is upsetting to me that this newsletter goes out to 5000 people. Less than 20% even open it. Less than 5% of these people respond to it.
There was a time in the movement when the responses were so good that we printed them in subsequent newsletters. Your responses mean a lot to me, even if you don’t desire to be printed. Your gifts support my healing process and Inspiration University.
Inspiration University may be the largest and most effective university in the world, but I am not under any illusions about how far most of our students are willing to go. I am always thinking of ways to make the 9 Day Training and the 3 Week Trainings more effective. The best idea is to encourage people to repeat them once per year and realize that their healing process takes 50 to 100 years, if they don’t give up and die in the process. The Manual for Rebirthers takes at least 3 years to just get the ideas in consciousness and to start working. It is a manual for Life. It is the best manual for adult education that I have seen so far. If you find a better one or even one equal to it, please let me know.
What I notice about my own process is that I don’t seem to be in charge of it. My unconscious mind and the mercy of God seem to be in charge. As I mentioned above, it often takes full concentration just to survive my own healing process. I am still surprised by what pops up from my unconscious. But I am gratified that my intuition and healing skills, especially with the spiritual purification practices seem to enable me to win the game of healing.
I am hoping when I see Babaji this year I will get more insight on where I actually am in the stages of my healing and at least practical mastery of my mind and body in daily life. This may be a vain question. But it is interesting to speculate what life will be like for me and the planet in 20 years from now.
It seems that Trump is collecting billionaires to assist him in the battle with the Washington establishment. The showdown will come in March when he will have to deal with the debt limit. I also hope that he and his Christian friends will get the Bible back in the public schools and of course freedom for the Scriptures of all religions as well. This would improve the quality of education immensely.
The Trump conflicts are definitely making a lot of people think and even start to act. He may make America great with his stupidity and nastiness, if not by some of his good actions. It is interesting to watch. While watching, I continue to make my high quality contributions to adult education. When good movements don’t work in improving childbirth and the public schools, it is usually because of the parents. We have to keep educating adults. Enlightened parents tend to produce enlightened kids.
I have noticed that most public schools in countries in Europe do still teach the Bible in the public schools. I also noticed in the countries that do, the church has almost completely disappeared. The churches are maintained by the state because of their cultural value. U. S. Christians should notice this. When children study the Bible their whole lives without the doctrines of men coloring it, they realize by the time they are teenagers how false and superficial the doctrines of the orthodox churches really are so they don’t become church members as adults. So teaching the Bible in the public schools in America would be the downfall of the church, unless the church improves its doctrine. Protestant doctrines are just a superficial rewrite of Catholic Church doctrines.
Martin Luther and John Calvin didn’t change much. They just rejected the Pope. The Institutes of the Christian Religion by John Calvin is just a superficial version of Suma Theologica of St. Thomas Aquinas. Incidentally, the economics of St. Thomas is still ahead of Karl Marx.
I have seen isolated examples of the practical teaching about what Jesus teaches about eternal life in the American church, but it is still rare. Most Christians are still eating themselves to death on dead animals. And even more Hindu vegetarians are eating themselves to death on too much food. If you didn’t get my essay of Fasting One Day per Week, please ask me for it at email@example.com or send me your postal address. I just made 100 printed copies.
America can easily stand a little more asceticism. I am amazed when I look back and notice how much meditation and asceticism has naturally filled my own life with spiritual, social, and material riches. Spiritual education is the best idea. It should be the greatest industry on the planet in every century. Even if you like your job, consider doing some adult education as a second job or avocation.
Inspiration University is enriching the life on planet earth more than we can measure. Maybe you can find a way to participate more. Even organizing a lecture in your town or city can be fun. I love going to small towns as much as large cities.
Susan Alden, my chief training center assistant is leaving the I. U. training center after February. We loved her participation here. We are glad she is planning on starting something in the D.C. area. I plan on participating with her there when invited.
Inspiration University always invites more people to work as full or part-time trainers and rebirthers and seminar leaders. You can work here for a week as often as you like or a month or a year. While working at I. U., you can also accept invitations to work any-where all over the world for a week or more. Be creative! The best trainers of professional Rebirthers and Healers are people who have taken 25 or 50 people through ten sessions each year. This is the kind of experience that makes good trainers at the RBI Training Center. Rebirthers with this kind of experience are invited to come even once per year to be a guest trainer. Amazing things usually happen at the training center every week. You will be very fortunate to be a part of it.
Truth, Simplicity, and Love,
Leonard D. Orr